UPDATE 6/6/11: No duh.
Have you heard the one about the congressman named “Weiner” who has been accused of tweeting pictures of his weiner? Well, now you have.
Naturally, Weiner’s camp is claiming that his Twitter account was hacked and the whole thing is a prank, and I’ll admit that Weiner himself has gotten off some decent one-liners on the subject (e.g., “Tivo shot. FB hacked. Is my blender gonna attack me next? #TheToasterIsVeryLoyal”). Slate’s Christopher Beam also has a good both-sides-of-the-story recap, but at this point, the entire affair boils down to a single comment Weiner made Wednesday to NBC’s Luke Russert:
NBC’s LUKE RUSSERT: “That’s not a picture of you?”
REP. ANTHONY WEINER: “You know, I can’t say with certitude. My system was hacked. Pictures can be manipulated, pictures can be dropped in and inserted.”
Okay, look: I realize there aren’t that many different styles of boxer-briefs to choose from, and on the penis-size continuum, you really only have a few inches to play with (ahem), so maybe no guy can say with certitude whether or not a close-up shot of their bulging junk is, in fact, their bulging junk. But, I mean, c’mon. You probably have a pretty good idea, and this is not an area in which anyone — especially a public figure — should be embracing nuance. If it’s not your dong, obviously you come right out and say it’s not your dong. This is the kind of shit you say when it is your dong, and you know that a flat-out denial would probably necessitate an official investigation with unfavorable results — especially since, as Beam points out,
A law enforcement agency could subpoena Twitter or Yfrog for the IP address from which the photo and tweet were posted. If that IP address pointed to a machine other than Weiner’s, case closed.
C’mon Weiner. Get your head in the game, would you? (No, not that one.)