1) Hipster Dummy Text, and 2) Online Dating Nightmares

Oh, yes. This describes some acquaintances of mine rather too well. Behold, the vinyl lorem ipsum:

Organic sustainable lomo, +1 irony McSweeney’s skateboard Portland PBR tattooed farm-to-table Terry Richardson Williamsburg. Organic farm-to-table wolf, next level shit put a bird on it freegan American Apparel Williamsburg chambray gentrify viral you probably haven’t heard of them keffiyeh Cosby sweater. Pitchfork photo booth fuck, DIY cardigan messenger bag butcher Thundercats tofu you probably haven’t heard of them whatever squid VHS put a bird on it. Thundercats fixie Williamsburg, photo booth synth vinyl dreamcatcher Wes Anderson cliche. You probably haven’t heard of them DIY mlkshk biodiesel McSweeney’s raw denim. Skateboard Pitchfork Etsy, photo booth messenger bag artisan raw denim beard Tumblr retro Austin. Wes Anderson sustainable keffiyeh, blog lomo craft beer cliche brunch homo skateboard biodiesel fanny pack Pitchfork you probably haven’t heard of them Stumptown.

Reminds me of art shows, the West Coast, Brookyln, and (shamefacedly now) my getting-around-town bike. (via Kottke)

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Unrelated but equally charming is this Tumblr that Scott Lemieux pointed me towards. Seems to probe the depths of the online dating world for those unwilling to participate (You should try it, it’s fun! [No, it's really not]). Mostly? Skeevy messages from strange dudes talking about golden showers, cum, how nice they are, etc, followed by some trenchant analysis. A sample:

You look like Rachael Maddow, but pretty, not like a lesbian.

_____________________________________

+7 because Rachel Maddow is a very attractive woman, so thanks, kind of?

+6 for the insinuation that lesbians are by definition not pretty. Dude, have you seen Portia de Rossi?

+2 for the negging. Come on, dudes, we have all read The Game. Stop with the vaguely insulting observations.

+3 for ever thinking it’s a good idea to use the “You look like so-and-so, but pretty!” line. If you think someone looks like an unattractive celebrity, keep it to yourself. No lady wants to hear that she’s a spitting image of 2002 Nick Nolte (1976 Nick Nolte, ok).

Ha! Sometimes human beings make me wish I was not one of them.