So I’m going through my RSS feed, right, and I’m just reading along to, you know, the news and “the blogs” and “the word on the street.” And then a crazy thing happened. I thought, “I wonder if Meghan McCain has written anything stupid lately.” So I went ahead and Googled her. And I went to her website. And I read a few things. Let’s take them one at a time.
In “What I Love About The Hunger Games,” McCain writes the following.
Obviously I haven’t seen The Hunger Games yet, but I have read the books. I love a young adult story that celebrates a woman fighting and being independent, rather than just marrying the man being the whole point of the movie (like Twilight). The film is full of strong female characters like Effie, played by Elizabeth Banks.
Aaaaannnnd, then she links to a video of an actress in the movie talking about her character (full disclosure: I DID NOT WATCH THE VIDEO!) And that’s it. Her entire argument about “the film” (which she hasn’t yet seen ["OBVIOUSLY"!]) is that it “is full of strong female characters” and that she “loves” that.
I am Meghan McCain, and I like chocolate ice cream. Please pay me money for this insight, please.
In “My Thoughts on HBO’s Game Change,” which is a movie about her father, McCain graces her readers with this probing bit of analysis:
Did you happen to see “Game Change” on HBO? It’s the movie about the 2008 presidential campaign. My dad has not and will not watch the film because he feels it’s too biased and misrepresents the facts.
[clip of some shit her dad said]
I can tell you one thing: he’s right about the cursing. He doesn’t curse very often. Films like this are usually written for dramatic effect and ratings…portraying the facts accurately isn’t usually the top priority when it comes to entertainment.
Aaaannnnd, that’s also it? Oh, right, then she begs for comments, presumably because she gets paid $1,000 per comment.
Honestly, I might get drunk occasionally and write really rambling posts about subjects I have no real business speaking to — and I might write outright clunkers myself every once in a while — but, so help me God, if I ever conclude with something as banal as “[P]ortraying the facts accurately isn’t usually the top priority when it comes to entertainment,” hack this website, steal my personal identity, and use it for sex tourism in Thailand.
(Unless, that is, the video that I skipped is somehow exculpatory and revelatory, in which case feel free to correct me in the comments.)
In “Interview with Forbes at SXSW,” McCain posts a video of herself talking about life lessons, which I did not watch, and concludes thusly:
Look guys, there are no mistakes in life. Everything is an experience that you can enjoy, or learn from, or whatever you want. Sitting around regretting the past is a waste of your time. Learn from the past, don’t dwell on it. Feeling bad about things you can’t change or control is just not a constructive use of your time and resources.
Nice try, Meghan McCain, but feeling bad about bad things that you’ve done is PRECISELY THE MECHANISM BY WHICH YOU ARE EXPECTED TO LEARN FROM THOSE BAD THINGS! THAT’S WHY YOU FEEL BAD!
I get that her point is some hippy-dippy, “It’s all in the past, maaan, chillax!” but her fundamental misunderstanding of how we conceive of guilt in a system of justice is fucking MIND BOGGLING. You are supposed to feel bad for your crimes, you are supposed to repent, and you are supposed to NOT DO THAT SHIT AGAIN, because it MADE YOU FEEL BAD, and the reason it MADE YOU FEEL BAD is because WHAT YOU DID WAS WRONG.
Life is an endless string of calamities and fuck-ups. You can take that to mean that you have to accept more responsibility for your actions than ever, or you can use it to explain away your embarrassments to your conscience. McCain suggests the latter course, which makes sense for a narcissist who has never had to work for anything.
In “Limbaugh, Contraception, and Sluts,” McCain writes more than one short paragraph. PROGRESS (Even though this was technically a month ago. Regress?)! Let’s hear what she has to say, shall we?
As you may or may not know
We know, bro. It was a pretty big deal.
Sandra Fluke is a third-year student of Georgetown Law School who is now at the center of the [contraception] issue after conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh later called Fluke a “slut” on his radio show. The comment which justifiably infuriated a lot of people. [SIC AS ALL HOLY HELL] It seems that it doesn’t matter if you are an educated young woman unafraid to express an opinion, or were the president of Georgetown Law Students for Reproductive Justice, [sic] (which Fluke was) — from Limbuagh’s point of view, if you’re a woman who feels entitled to receiving insurance coverage for birth control, you’re a slut to society.
GET A MOTHERFUCKING EDITOR! I thought the editors she had at the Beast were bad, but this is simply horrifying. First. McCain is not known. For her sentence fragments. When she does it, it doesn’t play off as, “Oh, there’s a master of the language playing with the form.” No. It. Does. Not. Instead, it makes you go back, reread, go back and reread AGAIN (ALLCAPS!), and wonder to yourself, “Did she really go to press with that?” It’s not as if this post is moments old, either. IT’S BEEN ON THE FUCKING SITE FOR A MONTH, AND THERE’S A GIANT SENTENCE FRAGMENT OF AWKWARD IN THE MIDDLE OF IT! It’s also, I might add, the most substantive thing she’s written about in that time period, and something I was actually genuinely curious to see a reaction to (it was the first link I clicked on the homepage, anyway).
McCain comes out on the right side of the issue — to wit, Limbaugh is a misogynist and a jackass — but aside from garbling her message with her lack of eloquence and proofreading, she also garbles it with statements like this:
This is not the first time, nor will it be the last, when a derogatory term is used to label a woman who makes a stand on a complicated issue publicly.
My emphasis. There is nothing at all “complicated” about women having access to affordable birth control. It’s just about as uncomplicated as black folks being allowed in the front of the bus. There is absolutely no reason to cede any ground to people like Rush Limbaugh, who would suggest that women having control over their own bodies is a privilege and not a right.
Finally, brutishly, and shortly, there is “My Thoughts on The DREAM Act,” in which Meghan McCain tepidly endorses the law, but admits that it just isn’t easy for good white people to see all of these brown folks coming into Arizona all of a sudden. Also we shouldn’t deport children. Oh, also, some child (I presume?) named Raina — we should care about her and her alone (I didn’t watch the video).