barack obama Archive

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President Obama Totally Just Owned a Bunch of Old White Catholic Bishops

Watch this video for a bit of backstory to this stupid controversy, and the “compromise” Obama offered.

So a bunch of old, God-fearing, Catholic Bishop virgins wanted to occupy women’s vaginas and allow religious institutions that objected to providing women with contraception to recuse themselves from the obligation, under the Affordable Care Act, to provide it to their employees. The religious right, ever wary of women being given control over their own bodies, threw a temper tantrum and got it on the news. Everyone was talking about it. How would this wedge issue affect Campaign 2012?

Obama basically says in the above video, “Fuck it, you misogynist twits, if you don’t want to provide contraceptive services to your employees, you don’t have to. But guess what? YOUR INSURANCE PROVIDER DOES IF YOU OPT OUT OF THAT REQUIREMENT. NA-NA-NA-NA-NA, FUCK YOU AND GET THE FUCK OUT! THAT’S THE COMPROMISE! DOMINO, MOTHERFUCKER!” Only with less swear words and more eloquence. Also, sadly, no dominoes.

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Marshmallows

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Putting Barack Obama to Music

I’m not gonna lie, the weekend Obama viral video of him singing Al Green really was endearing. Despite all the problems I have with his tenure as President, I can’t really bring myself to actively dislike him when he does shit like that. And then someone sets it to music, and it’s even better:

I was talking to someone the other day about the fact that, despite Obama’s relatively “meh” presidency, he really has an ear for campaigning. I don’t think the GOP has a chance against him in November. Mitt Romney strapped his dog to the roof of a car and is a Mormon. Disqualified. Newt Gingrich is a sociopath, a serial philanderer, and a habitual liar. Likewise disqualified. Barack Obama, despite being a Kenyan socialist terrorist out to destroy America, sings Al Green at the Apollo. And he doesn’t do a half-bad job at it, either.

I guess you know who’s got my vote.

(via)

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America is a Place

I don’t even.

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I Just Love When We Cede the Economic Narrative to Our Galtian Overlords

This video might be the stupidest thing I’ve ever witnessed, and I used to work with developmentally disabled adults. We’re now at the point in the deficit hysteria where the Democratic President of the United States is folksing us up with bullshit like, “OMG, I’m not paying for a website of a singing forestry troupe, because DEFICITS!!!!!!!!!” I mean, I expect that kind of shit from the right because they hate poor people, but the adoption of the “I Got Mine, Fuck You” narrative from the White House in the past six months has just been incompetent politics riding a wave of dishonest economics.

Meanwhile, unemployment is at 9.1% because there are no jobs. Yay!

This is insane.

(via Atrios)

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Michael Brown Might Be The Least Self-Aware Person On Planet Earth

Do your remember Hurricane Katrina? It was terrible. Lots of people died in a natural disaster. But what was even more terrible than the fact that lots of people died in a natural disaster, was that after the fact a lot more people died because the federal organization tasked with dealing with natural disasters, FEMA, was headed by a Republican party hack who was bad at his job. All of the deaths were, of course, needless. But I think there’s a pretty big difference between deaths that are caused by an act of God and deaths that are the result of human incompetence. It’s part of the reason why earthquakes don’t go to prison, after all. (Also, they are geological events, not people.)

So it’s rather…galling that “Heckuva Job Brownie” has deigned to criticize President Obama’s response to the recent tornado disasters in Missouri and environs. Because, you see, Obama is in Europe having a jolly old time, chaps, when what he needs to be doing is commandeering dump trucks and getting rid of rubble and pulling babies from the wreckage, PRONTO!

BROWN: In this situation, they’re almost tone-deaf. I mean, you stop and think about it, your press office should be recognizing that the visuals that Americans are seeing is of this devastation. Don’t put a visual of the president up playing ping-pong. It’s awful.

CAVUTO: So you don’t have a problem with the president being abroad with the Queen and the Irish prime minster just doing fun stuff?

BROWN: No, I do have a problem with that. It’s not like he’s at a G8 summit. This is not a diplomatic trip of any sort. This is just a — he went to Ireland for God’s sake to visit relatives! It’s time to come home…in this case, the perception is that the president is detached. He’s more concerned about raising a toast to the Queen. People have died.

Aye, there’s the rub. People have died. Past tense. They have died in horrible tornadoes, and the YouTube videos and the photographs are scary and awful. But there is not much that the government, broadly speaking, can do other than what it’s already doing. Cleaning up, helping people rebuild their lives, etc. The damage is done.

Michael Brown is encouraging the President of the United States to roll up his shirtsleeves and go to Missouri for a photo-op. It will help us heal, you see, and soothe the frightened souls of the American people. Because we are children, and WHAT WE NEED RIGHT NOW IS A REASSURING PHOTO ON THE FRONT PAGE. Reminder: The last time a standing President heeded this same advice from this very source, said President’s approval ratings dropped a couple points and hundreds of people died in New Orleans. Also? Those hundreds of deaths were blamed on him. Rightfully.

Just saying.

(via Cole)

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Obama’s an American! (Barely.)

So Pres. Obama finally released his long-form birth certificate (PDF) today.

Now, first of all, did you know that he’s actually Barack Hussein Obama the second??? Because I don’t think I realized that, and that makes me wonder: If Pres. Obama’s father — the original Barack Hussein Obama, who supposedly died in an automobile accident in 1982 — were to return today from a death that he potentially faked in anticipation of his son’s future occupation, would he also be considered President of the United States? I mean, they do have the same name and all, and though his father was definitively born outside the U.S., I think this is something Trump and co. might want to look into, just to be safe.

Second of all, the certificate says that Pres. Obama was born August 4, 1961. However, Hawaii didn’t even become a state until August 21, 1959, which means that if the president has lied about his age by a “youthening margin” (technical term) of even two years, he still wouldn’t be a United States citizen! I mean, does anyone else think it’s odd how quickly his hair has gone gray for a supposed 49-year-old?

Anyway, just doing my part to save the republic.

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Obama in a nutshell

Perfectly encapsulated by Lincoln Mitchell in the HuffPo yesterday: “the extraordinary and uninspiring trajectory of Barack Obama over the last four years.”

After evolving from charismatic young senator to viable presidential candidate, he became an international symbol of hope and a vehicle into which millions of people projected their own aspirations and then, of course, president of the United States. Since assuming that role he has transformed into being just another American president, supported by his party despite his many shortcomings, reviled by the political opposition despite his frequent centrist tendencies, and hamstrung by the power of the country’s political and financial establishment.

As much as it depresses me to say it, Mitchell (or “LiMi,” as I call him) is bang on. Maybe when Obama is reelected, he’ll finally summon the cojones that are his peoples’ defining stereotype (Hawaiians, I mean — not blacks) and throw off his establishment shackles, but I doubt it.

Less than 30 months after nearly being brought to tears by the historical significance of our last presidential election, I have doubled down on the overwhelming political cynicism that marked the majority of my pre-Obama years, to the extent where I doubt I will even vote next year — and perhaps not ever again. If this is the best we can do…then fuck it, right? At least with the other dunces in the confederacy you know where you stand (i.e., under their heel)…