beer Archive

2

Map of the Day

I have no idea what this map is supposed to mean, but according to the Atlantic it charts the “anti-creative class” — which is basically, by their metric, people who have access to cheap weed and/or have a lot of bars.

 

In the words of the people who created the map:

… it occurred to us that our two most popular maps – the Price of Weed and the Beer Belly of America – contained within them the means to provide a metric of sorts for the anti-creative class. Or at least places where the ability to be usefully creative would be severely compromised, i.e., where the price of marijuana is low and the availability of bars is high.

In other words, we’re looking for the Slacker Strata of America, the list that no city wants to be on.

Conveniently ignored is the fact that many of our best writers were lousy, no-good drunks. Paging Ernest Hemingway, Hunter S. Thompson, and Dylan Thomas, among many, many others. Also, much of our loveliest music was created by jazzmen and hippies high on the pot.

But you know, however you want to define “creative.”

0

Google Brews Beer

For some good news on an otherwise depressing day in your march to mediocrity, feeble-mindedness, and eventual doom, check this shit out: Google is brewing its own beer now. And they’re doing it with Dogfish Head, which means I’ll probably never get a chance to try it. But maybe you will. And maybe this will make your life slightly more meaningful.

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A Short Film About Drinking

(via Alyssa Rosenberg)

4

How to Be Irish

St. Patrick’s Day may be over (i.e., hung over), but that doesn’t mean you can’t start planning for next year. And the first thing you should plan for is what to do if you forget to plan for next year and end up like our poor resident photojournalist: with a fridge full of crappy booze and no idea what to do with it:

On Thu, Mar 17, 2011 at 5:44 PM, Booth W wrote:

tom, which is more irish?

a) beam and pepsi max

b) sweet tea vodka and dr pepper

c) pbr

it’s all i’ve got.

-b

To which our poor resident freckled alcoholic MacGyver responded:

okay, okay. here’s what i’ve got from a similar situation in which i needed to improvise an appropriate st. patrick’s day libation. in my case, i had:

a six pack of black butte porter, a six pack of hamm’s, a fifth of evan williams, and milk. do you have milk? you should get some.

now, in my situation, we were trying to approximate irish car bombs, which (for the uninitiated) consist of half a black and tan (guiness and harp mixed together), and a shot of irish and bailey’s. in our case we replaced the guinness with the porter, the harp with the hamm’s, the irish with evan, and the bailey’s with milk. NOW! you have a different set of ingredients, obviously, but you can still make an irish car bomb — one that i will more or less approve of. REMEMBER, THOUGH: milk curdles quickly when mixed with alcohol, so you’re going to want to get it down really quick lest you end up like neil on that fateful night — puking on the kitchen table while the rest of us desperately cleaned up after him.

here is my suggestion:

pbr and either of your sodas for the base. beam and milk for the fuse. kaboom! kaBLAMO! cue the u2 music video and have a wonderful fucking st. patty’s, brah!

-t

Take this lesson to heart, everyone. Then to liver. And finally to the porcelain punchbowl. Bottoms up.

0

A Bender – Part Two

This is Part Two of a comic loosely based on a bender in the Spring of 2008.

Part One here.


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A Bender

This is Part One of a comic loosely based on a bender in the Spring of 2008.

Claimer: The characters and events in this comic are meant to depict real-life characters and events — if not in what actually happened and what was actually said, then in the spirit of their characters and the things they basically said.

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President Barack Hussein Obama: Muslim. Kenyan. Soshulist. Beer Snob?

Sláinte Gaelach!

Via Lawyers, Guns, and Money comes this delightful news:

President Obama has officially declared March 2011 Irish American Heritage Month. More importantly the White House also announced that the president would be brewing his own beer called White House Honey Ale for St.Patrick’ Day.

Obama, who said he will pay for the beer making equipment himself, has made  presidential history by being the first U.S. president to brew beer at the White House.

Obama of course made headlines as a nancy-boy Bud Light drinker after the 2009 ‘Beer Summit’ — a beer selection that likely cost him the beer-snob vote for a generation. So it’s nice to see him fighting to regain the affection of sots and booze-hounds and drunks across the land. We really should be a natural constituency.