Oh technology, is there any way you can’t make us look stupid? First you tricked us into believing that rolling over a relatively smooth surface was more efficient than upright bipedalism (wheels! amirite???). Then, a few years later, crazy folks lost their monopoly on talking to themselves in public when some Smurf-obsessed nerd invented the bluetooth and it began to proliferate among business-types and young people — two truly dismal demographics which, to this day, can be seen having extensive, passionate conversations about the stock market and/or their latest STDs with interested dust motes and subway posters.
Now, entering into this startlingly fractured technoscape for the first time is none other than that erstwhile manufacturer of Happy Days-themed car fresheners and body-shaping undergarments for older women, The Google.
From Reuters yesterday:
Google Inc is getting into the eyewear business with a pair of thin wraparound shades that puts the company’s Web services in your face.
The experimental “augmented reality” glasses – from the same team that is developing self-driven cars – can snap photos, initiate videochats and display directions at the sound of a user’s voice.
The prototype digital glasses, unveiled on the company’s Google+ social network on Wednesday, are still being tweaked and tested, and are not available in stores yet.
Here’s a (presumably After Effects’d) videographic demonstrating what Google Goggles could one day do for you:
I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that this actually seems pretty cool — assuming, of course, you don’t fall through an open manhole while you’re wearing them. And of course, in this day of instant high-production-value witticism, one tech-savvy wag who I wish was me has already created a commendably tongue-in-cheek riposte:
On second thought, maybe I’ll save my money for Google Contacts.