politics Archive

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Liveblogging the RNC/Considering Gouging My Eyes Out cont’d

By
Tom OHare
– August 30, 2012

8:55 PM: Some dude is talking about something. Ed makes the good point that lots of these people are probably drunk. So keep that in mind when the rounds of applause do or do not materialize. They aren’t coming for this guy, because no one knows who he is.

8:57 PM: UN-IN-SPIR-ING. This is like the Stones deliberately making their openers sound shitty so that they sound that much better by comparison. The Republicans must REEEEALLY know Romney’s not going to inspire.

8:58 PM: Attack ad on Obama. How many minutes will it last? Okay one and a half or so. Now it’s time for the founder of Staples to speak! Ohmigod, the founder of Staples! This is Must See TeeVee, people!

9:01 PM: Solyndra!

9:02 PM: The nerve of the President to demonize Bain Capital! The nerve!

cont’d: Mitt Romney created jobs?

9:02-9:11 PM: Okay, so Staples guy said “They just don’t get it!” over and over again (re: Preznit Obamma and co., natch), there was a stupid video about how Bain Capital saved some steel company. Then some “small business owner” (Cuban emigre from Florida — strategic!), and then there was another video about Romney saving the Olympics and really being a good guy. Now here’s Kerry Murphy Healey, former Lt. Governor of Massachusetts. She’s saying stuff. It’s actually 9:14 now.

9:14 PM: I don’t know if I can watch this anymore.

9:15 PM: Mitt Romney was a really great governor in Massachusetts. Once more, in keeping with the theme of discussing his record as governor for this Republican National Convention, his healthcare overhaul is not mentioned.

9:17 PM: When someone died in a tunnel accident, Mitt Romney went in there with his Super Sperm and fixed that motherfucker right up! And that’s what he’s gonna do when he’s in the White House! This is rather awkward for me! I feel slightly uncomfortable up here!

9:19 PM: America, I know you’re skeptical, and I know you have good reason to be because Mitt Romney is as slippery as a pork chop, but Mitt Romney is a hell of a guy. Okay? Okay, I’m done here. Thanks.

[Promo ad about his record as governor of Massachusetts. I eagerly await the part about his revolutionary healthcare plan!]

9:21 PM: This is the night Mitt Romney’s campaign decided to run on his record as a sleazeball at Bain Capital and a governor whose most notable achievement during his tenure was a healthcare overhaul, an overhaul modeled on the national level by President Obama and which Romney is now directly running against. Crazy like a fox!

9:25 PM: Holy fuck, this is so boring. So, so boring.

9:27 PM: Taylor Hicks is singing a song. The Republicans are tapping into the American psyche SO HARD RIGHT NOW! Yes!

9:28 PM: Hey, there’s a sign for Guam. Pop quiz, hot shot: Which ocean is Guam in? No cheating!

9:29 PM: Sweet bridge, Taylor Hicks’s band. Oh shit, now we’re gettin’ down. Harmonica solo! White people trying to keep rhythm in the crowd with their hand claps! This is so… I don’t know. White?

9:31 PM: What the fuck is this? Kim Rhode? She shoots skeet at the Olympics and wins gold medals for America?

9:33 PM: There are now some white Olympians being brought out onstage. Holy shit, Scott Hamilton is a fucking Republican? I thought he was gay?

9:35 PM: U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

9:36 PM: Sports is like politics, and I needed to get back on target, and now we need Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan to take aim and fix the country and achieve dreams just like we did at the Olympics. Or something. Okay, bye!

U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

9:37 PM: Another asshole to talk about the Olympics. All the Olympians are still up there. Jesus Christ, they are really milking the shit out of this one, aren’t they?

U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

brb…

9:46 PM: Musical Interlude Featuring Black Guy with Black Women’s Chorus: The Romney campaign has evidently decided that polling at 0% among the African-American population is Not So Good For The Public Image. This is their solution. Canny.

9:50 PM: Nothing better than a song that ends, “Americaaaahh!” Nothing.

9:51 PM: Weird cover by some sad white person wedding band of Get Ready by The Temptations. Really weird.

[Another promo ad about the Olympics. This is beating a dead horse into a patty, rolling it back up into a ball, fashioning that ball into the shape of a horse, and then beating it again. And now Ann's MS diagnosis. Whoa, buddy, your wife trusts you? You're so unique! You can't explain love? You're just like me! Love is so magical, isn't it? Our family is really nice. One of our sons is named Tagg! Etc, etc.]

10:03 PM: Clint Eastwood? Clint Eastwood. Enough said.

10:05 PM: “Oprah was crying.” Laugh line. Silly black people crying, like black people have any reason to feel happy about a black President. Hahaha. Hehe.

10:06 PM: Is Clint Eastwood drunk?

10:07 PM: In which Clint Eastwood suggests that trying people for their crimes is unAmerican and receives applause from the crowd.

10:08 PM: In which Clint Eastwood suggests that it’s Barack Obama’s fault that America was involved in two land wars when he took office.

10:09 PM: In which Clint Eastwood suggests that Joe Biden is unqualified to be Vice President, forgetting his own party’s nominee for the position the last time around, never mind this time.

10:11 PM: In which Clint Eastwood suggests that driving in an armored motorcade is unreasonable for a black President to do if he is to be a true environmentalist, receives laughs.

10:12 PM: In which Clint Eastwood tells us we’re the best.

U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

10:14 PM: In which Clint Eastwood is prompted by a plant in the audience to end his speech with “Go ahead, make my day,” and does so. Such spontaneity!

10:15 PM: Marco Rubio brought in to shore up the Cuban vote in Florida — not doing so well with the old folks and the coupons and the Paul Ryan “Medicare,” eh, Republicans?

10:18 PM: Fucking blah blah blah, government’s never done anything, that’s why I’m a politician telling you to vote for another politician to serve in the government, because logic and reason, and also Obama is a bad president, not like Mitt Romney.

10:20 PM: New regulations don’t move us forward! They move us backward! They failed us every time! Don’t you remember all that failing that happened before we deregulated the financial industry? DON’T YOU?!

10:22 PM: Freedom, lies about basic 9th grade American history, Almighty God, etc.

10:25 PM: “Your savings and investments are wiped out and your house is worth less than your mortgage. You know whose fault that is? It’s Obama’s! Hahahaha, I can’t believe I can actually get away with saying that to you idiots, hahahaha!”

10:27 PM: Bootstraps!

10:30 PM: Please stop now. I just want to see Mitt Romney crash and burn.

10:33 PM: Romney shakes hands, looks incredibly awkward. Yes.

10:34 PM: Shakin hands and lookin awkward! Continues! Romney’s wife looks worried, Paul Ryan & co. look like they’re tired of clapping. Lots of “Thank yous,” and then an “Ow, ow, ow, don’t touch me!” That was weird. Okay, he’s taking to the stage, time to get down to business.

10:35 PM: TELEPROMPTERS!!!!!!!!

10:37 PM: Paul Ryan’s pretty great, amirite? God, I hope I’m right. iPod joke!

10:39 PM: Freedom. Freedom. Freedom! Paul Ryan’s wife looks exceptionally bored.

10:40 PM: Obligatory Castro reference: Dropped.

10:42 PM: U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

10:42 PM: When you lost the job that paid well and had benefits, you took two jobs with no benefits, because you’re American, and that’s good! You work hard! But that’s not right, because you pay a lot for gas! WTF Obama?

10:46 PM: Detroit, what what!

10:50 PM: I am Mitt Romney and I am re-hashing everything that everyone else has already said about me, because I have absolutely no personality myself to display and this is just how we’ve decided to do things for this convention, okay?

10:52 PM: “Gotta love the Moms out there! Love ya! Ladies, vote for me! I don’t hate your ladyparts that much.”

10:54 PM: Mitt Romney asks if I feel as hopey changey today as I did on Election Day about Barack Obama? Honest answer: compared to you, I feel like he is the second coming of Christ.

10:56 PM: You know when you go to the mall and you see Staples and Sports Authority? I MADE THOSE COMPANIES HAPPEN, BOO YEAH!

10:59 PM: Dear Mitt Romney, you forgot to mention George W. Bush when you were discussing the recent Presidents who couldn’t tell the American people that their lives were better “now” than they were when they took office. I just thought you should know.

11:01 PM: Gasoline prices have doubled since Obama took office? Could’ve fooled me.

11:02 PM: The crowd boos China. Boos cutting the military-industrial complex. Boos RomneyObamacare.

11:03 PM: Romney has a plan to create 12 million new jobs. We’re going to do the Census every year, motherfuckers!

11:04 PM: Five point plan: 1) Energy Independence! 2) Every student gets a chance! 3) No more cheating in trade! 4) Cut the deficit and put America on track to a balanced budget without harming job creators! 5) Reduce taxes on businesses and repealing Obamacare!

= 12 million jobs!!!

11:06 PM: I won’t raise taxes on the middle class in America; I’ll simply destroy it. Oh, and I won’t let fags get married or babies get aborted.

11:07 PM: Apparently we won the war in Iraq and Afghanistan. Funny, that.

U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

11:09 PM: Look, I know Obama killed Osama bin Laden and all, but have you thought about how scary Iran is? ANYONE GAME FOR ANOTHER WAR?

11:11 PM: Call and response time. Fucking kill me now.

11:14 PM: It’s over. Thank God. It is finally, finally over. Time to wave awkwardly and wait for Paul Ryan to — here he is! And here are some balloons! And some wives! More balloons for the ladies! Confetti! Children of Super Sperm! White children and families! American families!

If you’ve gotten this far, you’re crazy, so I’ll reward you with this: “Fear of a Black President” by Ta-Nehisi Coates. Go read it and learn something about the country or something. It’s kind of a slap in the face to the closing of the RNC with “America the Beautiful,” that much I’ll say. Oh, and it has the benefit of being itself beautiful.

Obama 2012, baby.

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Liveblogging the Republican National Convention cont’d

By
Tom OHare
– August 29, 2012

Why, oh why, am I doing this to myself?

10:11 PM: Condoleezza Rice is talking about America and how great everything is, and about how she prevented a second 9/11. Yay! Dead Iraqis!

10:13 PM: “BTW, I was the Secretary of State, you know. When all those Iraqis and people Over There got killed By Us. Remember that? Woohoo!”

10:14 PM:  This country is free as fuck and we need to be the most powerful and when Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan rob you blind, that’s exactly what’s gonna happen! God bless America!

Applause.

Some governor is speaking, and it’s important because she’s Hispanic and a woman and also a Republican. And she’s going to win over the… wait, she just said something in Spanish. This is weird.

10:17 PM: “My Dad gave me a gun and I know how to use it, motherfucker!” Raucous applause.

10:18 PM: My parents built all that shit they built with no help from anyone not even Jesus. Oh wait, probably Jesus. But we’ll get to that later, I’m sure.

10:19 PM: I prosecuted child molesters, and I kicked my old boss’s ass in an election. Suck on this!

10:20 PM: I used to be a Democrat. Then I went to lunch with two Republicans. And we talked about issues. And I was like, “Holy shit, if I just sell my soul, I’m gonna be fucking rich as shit.” And I’ll be damned.

10:22 PM: We turned a deficit into a surplus without raising taxes because taxes are for the gheys.

10:23 PM: “They haven’t passed a budget in Washington DC in THREE YEARS.” Boos from the crowd. Do any of these creamsicles in the audience even follow fucking politics at all? Do they even read headlines?

10:23 PM cont’d: Little girls run up to me at the mall and give me a hug, and sometimes I’m like, “Whoa, if I were still prosecuting child molesters, would I prosecute myself?’ And then we all cry and talk about the promise of America.

10:24 PM: Something in Spanish. Everyone in the hall pretends to understand. Applause.

[Promo of Mitt Romney, leading into Paul Ryan's speech. Oh, dear God. I cannot wait.]

10:26 PM: They’re playing a song that’s ALMOST “The Boys are Back in Town,” but not quite.

10:27 PM: People are really fucking pumped in this convention center for Paul Ryan.

10:28 PM: This speech is really, really boring so far. C’mon, Ryan, my boy. Step up your game!

10:29 PM: I don’t get how you can say, “Fear and division are all they have left” about your opponent while you’re simultaneously attacking them without the head asplode!

10:30 PM: Paul Ryan introduces his family. Four children! Super sperm!

10:31 PM: I like to think my Dad would be proud of me. I’m proud of him. And I’m proud of Wisconsin. Blam! Segued the shit out of that one, didn’t I?

10:32 PM: “When Governor Romney asked me to join the ticket, I said ‘Let’s get this done’! And that’s exactly what we’re going to do!” Get ‘er done! Oh yeah!!!

10:33 PM: We’re about to lose a big GM factory in Wisconsin. Granted, my party wanted the US Government to allow the auto industry to implode on itself, but still, guys, some of my high school buddies who I haven’t spoken to in years worked there. They’re bummed! Aren’t you?

10:35 PM: STIMULUS! BOO HISS! SOLYNDRA! “What did taxpayers get out of the stimulus?” NOT A DEPRESSION, THAT’S WHAT, BUDDY!

10:36 PM: Boos to the healthcare plan that Obama copied from Mitt Romney’s plan in Massachusetts. Raucous applause. The cognitive dissonance is strong in this crowd.

10:38 PM: Repeal Obamacare! Yay! He hates old people! Yer all gonna die! (“Meanwhile, I would like to replace Medicare with a system of coupons for old people, and when they run out, they die! Whoops, forgot to mention that part!)

10:40 PM: Paul Ryan just suggested that Obamacare be the centerpiece of a political fight for the next couple of months. I think the Republicans have lost their fucking minds.

10:41 PM: Our national credit rating was downgraded because my party is filled with belligerent manchildren. Let’s boo Obama for that!

10:43 PM: They’re applauding for something now. Leadership or some such, I think. It doesn’t matter.

10:44 PM: Isn’t it about time Obama finished correcting the gigantic fuckups George W. Bush caused in eight years? I mean it’s not like there were two wars and an economic collapse, people.

10:45 PM: I am going to make up numbers. And I’m going to congratulate the Catfood Commission for suggesting a sensible plan to starve old and poor people to death in order to solve our debt problems.

10:48 PM: My mom was pretty cool when she rode a bus and started a small business after my dad died. And you know what? My mom is my role model. Because, hey, guys, we are really not doing so well with the ladies in the polls, ya feel me?

10:50 PM: We’ll keep federal spending at 20% of GDP or less. Because that is enough, and we are insane, and we want all you peons to suffer while we live the high life.

10:51 PM: Mitt Romney has foreign policy credentials, because I told you so, that’s why! And he’ll be on our side! Rah rah rah!

10:52 PM: U-S-A! chant erupts briefly.

10:53 PM: Jesus Christ, when is this fucking thing going to end?

10:54 PM: Wait, so “if you’re feeling left out and left behind, you have not failed, your leaders have failed you”? But if you succeed, your leaders have not succeeded, it was you pulling yourself up by your bootstraps? This makes no sense.

10:55 PM: Something something something central planning bad. APPLAUSE!

10:56 PM: Mitt Romney likes old people music. Laughs! My play list is hip: AC/DC and Zeppelin, baby! Rock and roll, fellow Republicans! Rock and fucking roll!

10:57 PM: Mitt and me grew up in the Heartland. WHERE DID BARACK OBAMA GROW UP, HMMMMMM?

10:58 PM: Mitt Romney was a great governor in Massachusetts! I WILL STUDIOUSLY NOT MENTION THAT WHOLE HEALTHCARE THING, HAHA HEHEHE!

10:59 PM: Mitt Romney believes in God and marriage. The magical underpants? They don’t matter, trust me, I’ve seen them.

11:00 PM: “The truest measure of any society is how it treats those who can’t defend or care for themselves, which is why I’m going to gut the social safety net.”

11:01 PM: “Our rights are from nature and God, and not from government!” Except for those ones that are in that thing, I dunno, that thing that enumerates them. What’s that called again?

11:02 PM: I’M GOING TO SHOUT SOME SLOGANEERING ABOUT GETTING ‘ER DONE, YOU ALL STAND UP AND CHEER, C’MON NOW! CHEER LOUDER! C’MON! AW YEAH, THAT’S NICE. OKAY, GOODNIGHT AND GOD BLESS YOU ALL, WHICH INCLUDES AMERICA, BUT I DIDN’T SAY THAT, SHIT WAS I SUPPOSED TO SAY THAT? FUCK I FORGET, IT’S FINE, IT’S PROBABLY FINE, I’M JUST WAITING FOR THE WIFE AND KID–OOP HERE THEY ARE, OKAY NOW LET’S EMBRACE AND WAVE AND WALK OFF THE STAGE AND… Jesus Christ, that was a nightmare.

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I Guess I’ll Live Blog Some RNC Speechifying

By
Tom OHare
– August 28, 2012

It’s almost 10:00. Some dude who is a former Congressman from Alabama is blaming Obama for the economic crisis. Mitt Romney will fix this.

9:54 PM: “Independents, government spending is bad, Occupy Wall Street demonized success, what can we say about a house that doesn’t honor the pictures on its walls?” [Last phrase an actual quote.]

9:54 PM cont’d: “The Democrats passed a bill that we don’t like when we didn’t control the House. Wah.”

9:55 PM: “Something something, great athletes are like America and it needs to be a champion and it’s absorbed blows but we bend, we do not break, something something, remember who we are [white], God bless you!”

Applause.

Nikki Haley time!

9:57 PM: My Indian parents kicked ass! President Obama, you’re a jerk!

9:58 PM: South Carolina rules! We build tires!

9:59 PM: I don’t even understand what she’s talking about. Securing borders? South Carolina is a border state?

10:00 PM: BIG APPLAUSE FOR A POLL TAX VOTER-ID LAW!

10:01 PM: President Obama SUED a corporation! What kind of AMERICAN is he? Not a real one!

10:01 PM: We build tires and airplanes with non-union labor in South Carolina. Applause! APPLAUSE!

10:04 PM: Mitt Romney did a bunch of stuff that was great in Massachusetts except for healthcare, which I will conveniently pretend was never passed under his governorship. Now here’s Ann Romney.

10:04 PM: Wait, I thought Ann Romney was coming out. Nikki Haley is still talking. Why? Oh right, “Ann Romney is an inspiration to the nation.” Tepid applause.

10:06 PM: We deserve a President who will give corporations more power. God bless America. Rah rah rah.

Fuck, the First Lady of Puerto Rico? They don’t even get electoral votes!

They’re really talking up Ann Romney. She’d better deliver.

Oh, shit she’s on. Future First Lady, Ann Romney, people!

10:11 PM: Hurricane update: “Let’s hope that no life is lost. And that no property is lost.” Actual quote.

10:12 PM: We’re gonna talk about hearts, and American families — I mean, THE American family — oh, and we’re going to talk about love. Oh shit, it’s going to be her love for Mitt and the love so deep that only a mother can fathom it for our children and the love we share for Americans, brothers and sisters in difficult times. They’re among us in this hall! Americans! Loving! Mortgages! Rent! Single Dad!

Wait I thought we were gonna talk about love?

10:14 PM: Ann Romney knows a lot of us guys! It’s hard to get ahead now! She gets it! People just can’t get ahead!

10:15 PM: We’re the mothers! We’re the wives! We are all that the patriarchy defines us as, aren’t we?

Applause.

This is seriously the lamest speech I’ve ever seen to court the ladyfolks’ vote.

10:17 PM: Everything has become harder for ladies! And it’s all because of President Obama!

10:18 PM: “He made me laugh,” Ann Romney said of her husband Mitt. And I laughed.

10:20 PM: “We got married at 20! It was awesome! We slummed it for a while in a basement apartment! Cool!”

10:21 PM: “Five sons! Mitt’s a stud!”

10:23 PM: My husband Mitt Romney will work harder than that black man Obama who is black and wants to make welfare easier for black people to get which, while a lie, is enough of a coded message that I know you people realize I’m implying black people are lazy, right?

10:26 PM: Mitt works really hard. His company is awesome. And my children are going to be rich as fuck, unlike yours, remember?

10:27 PM: The reason that Mitt doesn’t talk about how he’s helped other people is because he is so humble, not because he has never actually helped anyone to become anything other than unemployed.

10:28 PM: We’re launching dreams up in this shit, aiight? Olympics! Massachusetts had a low unemployment rate and a a great public education program under Mitt! Did I forget to mention that healthcare thing again? WHOOPSIE!

10:30 PM: We’re lifting up America up in this shit, aiight? AND HE, MY HUSBAND, MITT ROMNEY — HE REALLY, ACTUALLY MAKES ME LAUGH, PEOPLE! I KNOW I’VE SAID THIS A FEW TIMES ALREADY, BUT ARE YOU UNDERSTANDING MY MESSAGE WHICH IS THAT, THOUGH HE COMES ACROSS AS A CARDBOARD CUTOUT IN A FANCY SUIT, HE REALLY DOES HAVE A PERSONALITY AND IS NOT, IN ACTUAL FACT, MADE OF RECYCLED FIBER?

10:32 PM: Mitt Romney comes onstage and hugs his wife. Waves. Cue “My Girl,” and Mitt Romney’s mysterious disappearance into some Mormon sex cave backstage.

For fuck’s sake, now it’s Chris Christie? Jesus.

“Hi I’m Chris Christie and I blocked a tunnel to New York from being built because I’m a prick.” This is what I’m getting from the promo video anyway. It’s too long by half. How long is this thing going to take?

10:35 PM: Enter stage back.

10:35-36 PM: Whaddya gonna do? I’m from Jersey.

10:36 PM: “My mom was awesome,” says Chris Christie. Might the Republican messaging machine realize they have a “woman” problem on their hands with all the “rapey” stuff of late?

Aside: It’s hot in the city right now.

10:38 PM: I’ve been married for 26 years, and I’ve got four kids! Super sperm! Super sperm fighting for your principles, just like mom told it to!

10:40 PM: Founding Fathers! Just say No!

10:41 PM: Tonight we say, “Enough!” And, “We’re going to do what is right and is necessary to make America great again!”

10:42 PM: “Tonight, we’re going to choose respect over love!” Ann Romney is the hippy. Chris Christie is the greaser. #probingRNCanalysis

10:43 PM: I CUT TAXES AND BALANCED BUDGETS AFTER THREE YEARS AND IT WAS ALL ME AND THERE WAS NO HELP FROM THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT AT ALL!

10:44 PM: Mitt Romney is seated in the crowd next to Ann, per a crowd shot from the camera crew. They have returned from the Mormon sex cave backstage, having conceived another heir to their billion-dollar fortune in an act of chaste coital bliss.

10:46 PM: The Republicans have done great! Don’t you remember the Bush years? OH, I DIDN’T MENTION THOSE?

10:48 PM: “Hey old people, you’re all good with your Medicare; it’s your grandchildren who will get screwed, but you’ll be dead by then and we’re lying to you about protecting them since you’re routinely tapped as targets by other well-known scam artists, but you’re probably too senile to know that, or maybe your children haven’t called in a while and you just want to talk on the phone for a little while? Can we give you a call, btw? Vote for us!”

10:50 PM: Republicans lose when they play the Democratic game of “scaring and dividing,” says a guy who represents a party that consists of a large religious element convinced that President Obama is a vehicle of Satan.

10:51 PM: “We comin’ to get ya, Washington!” Applause.

Romney won’t stand when Christie points to him in the crowd because he still has a boner from the Mormon sex cave. #science

10:54 PM: This is so fucking boring. Cigarette break time.

 

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Is Tom Friedman Really Like a Goldfish? Or Does That Insult Goldfish?

By
Tom OHare
– May 17, 2012

(via)

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On Centrism and Civility, Briefly

By
Tom OHare
– May 12, 2012

I was having dinner with my friend-and-sexual-associate not too long ago, and we got into a discussion about civility versus decency, which, if you’ve read our Inflammatory Writ, has been a hobbyhorse of the proprietors of this website for a while now. Her point was that people are more likely to take you seriously if you don’t use bad words and argue in good faith, and mine was that some people simply aren’t worth arguing with — since their minds will never change — and can simply be told to fuck off.

I understand that this opens me up to criticism from the right along the lines of, “Fuck off, libtard,” and I’m perfectly fine with that. I think that’s a legitimate criticism, all things considered. But I only think it’s legitimate because it fundamentally expresses the truth: to wit, the right-winger and I will never agree on certain issues, and there is basically no point in discussing those issues with each other. So, “Fuck off”? Gladly. Why waste each other’s time?

My audience, however, isn’t (I hope) on the fence about issues like LGBTQ rights, or global warming, or the military-industrial complex’s negative effects on American foreign policy, or the disaster that is deregulated capitalism. If you are, can I please request that you kindly fuck off? We have nothing to talk about. These issues are urgent, and I profess absolutely no regret for being earnest in my advocacy for the far left position I take with regard to each. The Overton window either moves left or right, after all. I confess to hoping that I do some small service on behalf of making our national discourse more amenable to left-wing political views.

Which brings us — AS ALL THINGS DO — to William Lloyd Garrison, who expressed my position considerably more succinctly than I’ve been able to do so here:

I am aware that many object to the severity of my language; but is there not cause for severity? I will be as harsh as truth, and as uncompromising as justice. On this subject, I do not wish to think, or to speak, or write, with moderation. No! no! Tell a man whose house is on fire to give a moderate alarm; tell him to moderately rescue his wife from the hands of the ravisher; tell the mother to gradually extricate her babe from the fire into which it has fallen; — but urge me not to use moderation in a cause like the present. I am in earnest — I will not equivocate — I will not excuse — I will not retreat a single inch — AND I WILL BE HEARD. [Bold added.]

I’ve got “never give an inch” tattooed on my left arm. In one respect it is an ironic statement on the foolhardiness of brooking no compromise — which is, I would argue, the central theme of the book from which it was derived. That is, I don’t think Kesey was endorsing the notion that one should never give an inch, even if his protagonists lived and died by the slogan. But in another respect, it speaks to the meaning of core principles. What do you stand for? To what extent are you willing to back it up? And most importantly, where do you draw the line in the sand?

Ultimately, like it or not, you have to draw it somewhere. You don’t, of course, if you’re trying to make a living in the Tom Friedman/David Brooks version of the universe where intellectual consistency means a pay-cut. But you do if, like most of us, you’re simply trying to be a decent human being. To do so requires staking out positions and making arguments, regardless of how popular or unpopular they make you. Believe it or not, I have considerably more respect for a principled bigot than a pundit who tries to play both sides of an argument and ends up defending that bigot. While the bigot and I may never agree about anything, at least I know that a gentle “Fuck you” adequately expresses my point. With the pundit, one is tempted to mistake smarminess for an argument, when in actuality it’s simply a ploy to mask cowardice and intellectual dishonesty.

Taking a stand is important. Knowing what you believe in is important. Having principles is important. And, crucially now, making compromises is important, too. But with compromise, you always have to be playing the long-game, and you have to have an idea of what audience is worth playing games for. There are simply some people you’ll never be able to reach. In the meantime, never give an inch.

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Preach

By
Tom OHare
– May 7, 2012

Amen.

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If you’re keeping score at home

By
Trevor Macomber
– April 10, 2012

Santorum just dropped out of the race! I’m guessing this will only bolster Gingrich’s resolve to remain in this thing till the convention.

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For reading!

By
Ben Nolan
– March 30, 2012

Hilzoy makes an appearance, talking analytic philosophical critiques of the neuroscientific way of talking about free will. It’s a bit dry, but <3 Hilzoy, and as usual, she’s pretty much got it right.

TIL China apparently maintains “an orphanage for the offspring of murderers.” (Article is about this propaganda-department-stamped Chinese reality show in which a cute young woman interviews people who are on death row for unambiguously awful crimes.)

Apparently Rachel Maddow’s new book is pretty good.

Emily Bazelon has an interesting take on Bully (the documentary recently involved in a ratings controversy with the MPAA). Teaser:

I asked Hirsch why he didn’t mention Tyler’s diagnoses ["Tyler, who died when he was a junior, was diagnosed with ADHD, bipolar disorder, and Asperger’s (autism with a normal to high IQ) in sixth grade."] “I really felt that by not disclosing it, we wouldn’t allow the audience to prejudge,” he said. “It was a decision we thought about a lot. Ultimately, we thought the film would be more powerful without it.”

To Ann Haas, a senior project specialist for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, this was a serious error. When I played Bully for Haas, she recoiled in horror, and I don’t use the word lightly. “To leave Tyler’s mental health problems out of the film is an egregious omission,” she said. “It is really misinformation. The filmmakers’ had the opportunity to present bullying as a trigger, as one factor that played a role in a young person’s suicide. But to draw a direct line without referencing anything else—I’m appalled, honestly. That is hugely, hugely unfortunate.”

Haas feels strongly about this for a few reasons. First, research shows a strong link between Asperger’s and suicide and a link between bipolar disorder and suicide as well. This means these facts about Tyler are important to understanding his decision to take his life. There’s more, too. From Haas’ point of view, by presenting such an incomplete version of the facts, Hirsch has created a real risk of suicide contagion—the documented phenomenon of people mimicking suicidal behavior in light of media representations. “I worry terribly about the contagion effect,” Haas said. “One message of this move is: ‘Bullying kills’—as if it’s a normal response to kill yourself, when of course most people who are bullied don’t do that. Young people who feel bullied could harken back to the movie, and it could be a powerful draw to suicide for them. If Tyler had been accurately portrayed as a kid with mental health challenges that were very hard for him to manage, he wouldn’t seem so attractive. We might feel sympathy for him, but he wouldn’t have the emotional pull of a character who is being romanticized. When you turn a real person, who had a very painful, distressing life, into a kind of fairytale character, that’s something young people are much more likely to identify with. And identification is at the heart of contagion.”

Also rationalizes the demonization of the bullies, which, as Bazelon’s earlier and amazing reporting on the Phoebe Prince bullying-suicide case demonstrated, has much more to do with satisfying an entertainment-news consuming public than with reflecting the truth of the situation, and can have horribly destructive and unjust consequences.

John Lanchester celebrates Marx’ 193rd. It’s interesting, but should be taken with a pinch of salt. E.g.:

…can it be true that capitalism consistently and reliably immiserates? Can it be true that the system is destructive, if people who live under it quite simply live longer? Take the Millennium Development goals, announced at the turn of the new century, and setting targets to reduce infant mortality by two-thirds and maternal mortality by three-quarters by 2015 from a starting point of 1990 (the books slightly cooked by setting the starting point ten years in the past), halving the number of people who live in absolute poverty, doubling the percentage of children getting at least a primary education. Can an achievement on that scale be ignored? If a system does that, can you say that it produces nothing but immiseration? Marx himself said that there were moments when the capitalist mode of production could transcend itself, as in the invention of the joint stock company. Further evidence of this possibility for self-transcendence would have exerted great pressure on his intellectual models.

Didn’t realize anyone was claiming the Millennium Development goals had actually been achieved, which isn’t to say there haven’t been achievements. But the achievements of the past 20 years have been driven largely by the emergence of China and India’s massive peasant populations from an essentially feudal way of life (made even more miserable than the old feudalism by the dominance of political power by capitalist priorities), and their integration into the capitalist system. Marx’ critique of capitalism was never based in any kind of nostalgic idealization of feudalism. It was rooted in the destabilizing contradictions built into capitalism itself — the exploitation and alienation that are structurally necessary to the functioning of its mode of self-reproduction, and so impossible to overcome while that mode of reproduction is maintained.

Has there really been a decline in exploitation and alienation in the world? Or even in China or India? I don’t think so. (Gonna take this opportunity to plug Jia Zhanke again, whose movies about the radical changes to life in China are some of the most vivid representations of the extreme alienating character of the current wildly productive system of labour exploitation.) And how wonderful is it to sit atop the global capitalist system? This wonderful, says David Foster Wallace:

By way of example, let’s say it’s an average day, and you get up in the morning, go to your challenging job, and you work hard for nine or ten hours, and at the end of the day you’re tired, and you’re stressed out, and all you want is to go home and have a good supper and maybe unwind for a couple of hours and then hit the rack early because you have to get up the next day and do it all again. But then you remember there’s no food at home – you haven’t had time to shop this week, because of your challenging job – and so now, after work, you have to get in your car and drive to the supermarket. It’s the end of the workday, and the traffic’s very bad, so getting to the store takes way longer than it should, and when you finally get there the supermarket is very crowded, because of course it’s the time of day when all the other people with jobs also try to squeeze in some grocery shopping, and the store’s hideously, fluorescently lit, and infused with soul-killing Muzak or corporate pop, and it’s pretty much the last place you want to be, but you can’t just get in and quickly out: you have to wander all over the huge, overlit store’s crowded aisles to find the stuff you want, and you have to manoeuvre your junky cart through all these other tired, hurried people with carts, and of course there are also the glacially slow old people and the spacey people and the kids who all block the aisle and you have to grit your teeth and try to be polite as you ask them to let you by, and eventually, finally, you get all your supper supplies, except now it turns out there aren’t enough checkout lanes open even though it’s the end-of-the-day rush, so the checkout line is incredibly long, which is stupid and infuriating, but you can’t take your fury out on the frantic lady working the register.

Anyway, you finally get to the checkout line’s front, and pay for your food, and wait to get your cheque or card authenticated by a machine, and then get told to “Have a nice day” in a voice that is the absolute voice of death, and then you have to take your creepy flimsy plastic bags of groceries in your cart through the crowded, bumpy, littery parking lot, and try to load the bags in your car in such a way that everything doesn’t fall out of the bags and roll around in the trunk on the way home, and then you have to drive all the way home through slow, heavy, SUV-intensive rush-hour traffic, etc, etc.

Not so wonderful. Rings true. Not that it hasn’t had its odd and uncomfortable-making perks…

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Sentence to Ponder

By
Tom OHare
– March 28, 2012

I stole that title from Tyler Cowen, who usually uses it to link to something asinine from one of his deranged right wing economist pals. Here, then, is the sentence I’ve selected:

Protestors were out in force this morning in front of the Supreme Court asking the court to overturn the Affordable Care Act because, if the founders had wanted poor children to receive treatment for childhood acute lymphoblastic leukemia, they would have mentioned it in the Federalist Papers, BUT THEY DIDN’T NOW, DID THEY MARXISTS!

I have it on good authority that Madison (or was it Hamilton? Or Jay? THE CONSPIRYSEEE DEEPENS!) intended to mention the ACA in Federalist 10, but was busy doing stuff, or getting gout, or fathering illegitimate children, or whatever. Okay, it’s 6:30 in the morning and I don’t have any jokes about this. I already gave you a joke, people! THAT’S THE SENTENCE TO PONDER!!!1!SQUEE!1

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Hello, Fellow Massachusetts Independents on this Super Tuesday

By
Tom OHare
– March 6, 2012

Hi. I vote Democrat pretty much all the time, but I don’t want their campaign literature, and I’m too disgusted with them 50% of the time to consider myself a member of the party, so I’m registered as an Independent. That Said! If you are an Independent, Massachusetts has an open primary, and you can go to your polling place this morning and switch your party affiliation to Republican and Fuck. With. The. Democratic. Process. So do it! I’m voting for Rick Santorum, baby, because the longer this shit show drags on, the more money Mitt Romney has to spend sealing his otherwise inevitable nomination.

Exercise your right to be a rabblerouser. Vote Santorum. For the children.

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