The New York Times Archive

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The New York Times is Trolling Me

By
Tom OHare
– September 10, 2011

Employers Say Jobs Plan Won’t Lead to Spur in Hiring

By MOTOKO RICH 1 minute ago

The dismal economy is the main reason many companies aren’t hiring, and few executives think President Obama’s plan will change that.

Three (3) points that I should address here:

1) Who are these “employers” mentioned in the headline? I know I could read the article to find out, but I’m not going to because I already hate it. Further, I know that my employer is in favor of the Obama jobs plan. Many of my former employers have been liberals, and would seem likely to be supportive of the plan (however tepidly) as well. Just who the fuck are we talking about when we talk about “employers,” Mr. Fancy Pants New York Times?

SATSQ: Da oligarchs.

Second: last name “Rich”? Srsly? As in “I am siding with the… rich”-Rich? The last Rich you had was so much better, New York Times, even if he could be a bit stream-of-conscience-y at times (NOT THAT THERE’S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT, MIND YOU).

c) Finally, because I’ve already determined that I am by no means going to waste my time reading this article (instead, I will waste my time making fun of its prominence on the Times’ homepage) — Shorter NYTimes: “Rich people are unhappy with more taxes, and YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO THEM, PLEBES.“

Disclaimer: I was by no means driven insane (read: drunk) today by books. Okay, fine. I’m going to bed.

2

The NYTimes Guide to Memes

By
Tom OHare
– September 9, 2011

Via M. Bouffant (who points out that Goatse is missing from the list — oh, and they forgot Pedobear, too, while we’re at it), the Times compiles a list of Internet memes for all Teh Oldz struggling to make sense of what their children are laughing at on the Internet all day. It’s a pretty weak list, but the snobbery on display in some of the comments more than makes up for it.

Jeffrey of Seattle replies to the article:

“But there are plenty of other people who aren’t getting the references at cocktail parties and in the late-night comedians’ monologues.”

I guess that would be the case because people under 20, the primary audience for this juvenilia, don’t attend cocktail parties.

Thank heavens!

Keith, from Oxford (Ohio, not England) sez:

Wow! I was aware of almost all of these and find none of it funny. So if you want to really waste your life (if it already isn’t) watch these. And if you are at a cocktail party where this is being discussed, leave now, you really don’t want to know these people!

Watching viral videos = wasting your life. Got it!

Bill Smith from La Cruces, New Mexico doesn’t seem to realize that in the time it took to post his comment, he could have Googled the answer himself:

Great summary Pogue, but you could have done us over 70s a service by defining a “meme.”

Another Jeff, this one from New Jersey, thinks it’s still too soon for Hitler jokes:

There is nothing funny about Hitler and spoofing (thus trivializing his atrocities) is not funny either. Awful.

For shame, Internet!

Lastly, we have “Smarten up” from Maine (pseudonym? — We Report, You Decide!), who argues that not understanding something is a mark of erudition, contra the Enlightenment:

There is a lot to be said for real-world experience, something most under-20s have yet to acquire.

I consider myself sophisticated BECAUSE I don’t get these jokes…they are just silly.

There you have it, folks. Your New York Times readership, distilled in the comments section. Too lazy to Google simple queries, and certain that their ignorance of pop cultural phenomena justifies their contempt for them.

This is why Tom Friedman, David Brooks, et al still have jobs, btw.

Goodbye, cruel world!

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David Brooks is Wrong About Everything Always, And I’m Tired Of It

By
Tom OHare
– May 24, 2011

Today’s culprit? Britain!

Mr Brook’s history is distinctly dodgy. But perhaps he has a better grasp of our politics? Well, no. Take this:

Britain is also blessed with a functioning political culture. It is dominated by people who live in London and who have often known each other since prep school. This makes it gossipy and often incestuous.

Prep school? I’m afraid I think Mr Brooks is referring to public school (Eton, I expect) though Boris Johnson does, of course, share a primary school with Ed Miliband. That aside, the statement is still ludicrous – is being ruled by a clique of Oxford PPEist ex-public-school boys really what you would call a functioning political culture? And if so, how does that chime with the claim that we’re “democratic”?

I realize that I am part of a self-selecting and masochistic minority of left-wing nutjobs who reads David Brooks’s columns and silently (or, occasionally, loudly) seethes, but it is my great hope that this collective seething will force Brooks to recognize the error of his ways and/or lose his job. And so seethe I shall!

3

The New York Times Would Like You to Practice Cursive

By
Tom OHare
– April 28, 2011

Katie Zezima makes the case for teaching The Children cursive handwriting:

1) Might people who write only by printing — in block letters, or perhaps with a sloppy, squiggly signature — be more at risk for forgery? 2) Is the development of a fine motor skill thwarted by an aversion to cursive handwriting? 3) And what happens when young people who are not familiar with cursive have to read historical documents like the Constitution? [numbers mine--ed]

So, there are three objections. Let’s deal with them one at a time.

1) I have never had my signature on a bill compared to the signature on my credit card. Ever. I have been asked for a photo ID that matches the name on the card, however, and this seems to me a better means of ensuring that I am who I say I am than comparing two signatures (especially since the signatures on all my cards are pretty much illegible due to, you know, sitting on my wallet all the time). Furthermore, more and more fraud (and identity theft) is happening online where, it goes without saying, signatures aren’t really the mark of your identity that they are when you sign the canvasser’s petition on your doorstep. Anecdotal though it may be, I have actually met people who’ve had their identity poached via the Internet. I have never met someone whose signature was co-opted to commit fraud.

2) Who cares? There are many examples of fine motor skills we’ve abandoned as technology has evolved to make our day-to-day lives more efficient. I would imagine that there are far fewer people, for example, who know how to ride a horse (as a percentage of the population) than there were in the beginning of the 20th century. Should high schools maintain a stable of stallions so that we don’t forget this valuable skill, or should they just accept that the times are changing?

3) Teaching people how to read a script is not the same as teaching them how to re-create it. Again, it’s anecdotal, but I can barely remember how to make a “Q” in cursive; I can nevertheless read the shit out of the Constitution. So teach kids to read cursive, by all means, sure, I don’t have a problem with that — it is indeed a useful skill. Teaching them to write it when it is clearly on its last legs? Luddism of the worst kind.

11

To the NYT: Your content is excellent, but not uniquely so…

By
Ben Nolan
– March 17, 2011

First they came for the Canadians….

An important announcement from
the publisher of The New York Times 

Fine Print
Dear New York Times Reader, 

Today marks a significant transition for The New York Times as we introduce digital subscriptions. It’s an important step that we hope you will see as an investment in The Times, one that will strengthen our ability to provide high-quality journalism to readers around the world and on any platform. The change will primarily affect those who are heavy consumers of the content on our Web site and on mobile applications.

This change comes in two stages. Today, we are rolling out digital subscriptions to our readers in Canada, which will enable us to fine-tune the customer experience before our global launch. On March 28, we will begin offering digital subscriptions in the U.S. and the rest of the world.

If you are a home delivery subscriber of The New York Times, you will continue to have full and free access to our news, information, opinion and the rest of our rich offerings on your computer, smartphone and tablet. International Herald Tribune subscribers will also receive free access to NYTimes.com.

If you are not a home delivery subscriber, you will have free access up to a defined reading limit. If you exceed that limit, you will be asked to become a digital subscriber.

This is how it will work, and what it means for you:

  • On NYTimes.com, you can view 20 articles each month at no charge (including slide shows, videos and other features). After 20 articles, we will ask you to become a digital subscriber, with full access to our site.
  • On our smartphone and tablet apps, the Top News section will remain free of charge. For access to all other sections within the apps, we will ask you to become a digital subscriber.
  • The Times is offering three digital subscription packages that allow you to choose from a variety of devices (computer, smartphone, tablet). More information about these plans is available atnytimes.com/access.
  • Again, all New York Times home delivery subscribers will receive free access to NYTimes.com and to all content on our apps. If you are a home delivery subscriber, go to homedelivery.nytimes.comto sign up for free access.
  • Readers who come to Times articles through links from search, blogs and social media like Facebook and Twitter will be able to read those articles, even if they have reached their monthly reading limit. For some search engines, users will have a daily limit of free links to Times articles.
  • The home page at NYTimes.com and all section fronts will remain free to browse for all users at all times.

For more information, go to nytimes.com/digitalfaq.

Thank you for reading The New York Times, in all its forms.

Sincerely,
Arthur Sulzberger Jr.

Just want to note that by differentiating pricing based on device, the Grey Lady is clearly trying to exploit Apple customers’ rampant profligacy. I don’t blame them and would do the same thing.

But anyway, I am not paying $15 per month. I hope Mr. Sulzberger enjoys the thank you notes from the Washington Post, the BBC, Al Jazeera English, NPR, the Huffington Post, the Globe and Mail, Slate, the CBC, Ha’aretz, etc. etc. times infinity. (I’ll come back and add links later but am at work and shouldn’t be blogging.)

PS – Nate Silver and Paul Krugman’s blogs, not to mention the Lede and the Caucus blogs, better not be pay-walled. I will be unhappy if they are. More unhappy. Feel free to paywall Douthat though. Or better yet, just stop paying him.

PPS – Anyone who does end up paying the $15, do you still see ads? If so, fuck everything.